“If something can be changed, work to change it. If it cannot, why
worry, be upset, or complain?” — Shantideva, Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life

I used to walk my kids to school almost everyday. And on the way back home I would usually find one of the other mom’s to chat with about the day to day stuff of moms, and our community, etc. When I got back today, I realized almost our entire conversation revolved around all the things we didn’t like, the things that were going wrong, the things that bugged us. It actually felt funny to say as we parted, “Have a nice day!” since we just had so much negativity in the air a few seconds before.

It was an eye opener for me. How easy it is to allow yourself to think and talk negatively, even in simple day to day social situations. And when we remember that we attract more of what we focus on, it really brings the reality of our harmless idle chit-chat home. And what was important for me to realize is that even though I feel that I am a positive person most of the time, it is easy to slide into the less positive words of others in social situations.

So, let’s remember this wise advice when the urge arises to complain: If something can be changed, let’s work to change it. And if you need to discuss less than happy or good situations, find ways to do it that focus on the positive changes that can be made, not just the complaints for the sake of complaining.

“I even moved to a new city, where nobody knew me. [...] Well, I found that moving didn’t help. I had taken myself with me.”
— Neale Donald Walsch

When things are just not going well, it’s such a wonderful thought to change your surroundings. Just move away from all the challenges in your life. New place, new home, new people around you, new distractions. At least at first. Only one small little oversight, you go wherever you move. And if things aren’t right with you where you are right now, chances are it may have little to do with where you live and more to do with the way you are living your life.

Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t move. But while you are going, take a look at all the assets you want to bring with you. Don’t immediately toss out the ones you think are “negative” either. Just like certain furniture, you can save your assets by giving them a quick polish.

As Neale Donald Walsch states, “All of your so-called faults, all the things which you don’t like about yourself are your greatest assets. They are simply over-amplified. The volume has been turned up a bit too much, that’s all.”

So take an inventory: stubborn equals strong, flighty equals spontaneous, angry equals passionate, etc. All you have to do is use these behaviors differently, not throw them out. These “negative” ways of being can be turned into gifts when used properly and with the right amount of energy.

“When the student is ready, the master appears.”
— Buddhist saying

Making changes in your life is something for which you may have to mentally prepare yourself. As I have mentioned before, change begins when you make the decision to do so. It is the catalyst that starts the engine of change going along it’s new tracks.

Certain new goals you decide on could use some outside guidance or instruction or support. Your new decision for change will subconsciously send out the message that you are ready to accept guidance and assistance for this new journey. So be ready for the “master” to appear. And even more so, be ready to accept the guidance or wisdom offered to you at that moment of synchronicity.

“You lose your balance when you say, ‘I will not accept what is happening to me.’”
— Marilyn Eileen Charlton, Life on the Causal Plain, A Glimpse of Heaven

You lose your own intuitive guidance when you don’t accept what is happening to you in your life. The main goal for change is to become balanced again. In the simplest terms we are all striving for balance in our lives. However, because in real life we are always in a state of change, balance doesn’t mean motionless or perfection. This real life balance comes by going with the flow of life and accepting even the times that are not as easy to understand or to accept.

Life is not simply a predetermined destination. It is the journey that we are on every day. There may be unexpected curves and turns in the road we are on. We may encounter low valleys and high mountains. However, with each step we take on this journey, we are shaping who we are and who we will become. And with this adventurous path, every day, we will discover the best in ourselves — if we accept what happens to us along the way.

“You’re alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative was so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounded like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act.”
—Barbara Hall ,A Summons to New Orleans, 2000

Imagine you enter a movie theatre and the main feature presentation is called “Your Life So Far”. Now hopefully it’s not the type of movie that you are tempted to walk out of before it’s done, because the great thing about this movie is that the ending has not been written yet. Think of it more as a sneak preview. A teaser. You get front row seats to probably the most thematically changing storyline ever written. Is it a comedy? Sometimes. Is it a tragedy? Unfortunately there are parts that fit the title. Is it a love story? Most definitely. But what is the big picture?

It’s time to develop your life theme. Your life theme will be your overriding intention or “big picture” focus for the rest of your movie. It has no official deadline or final draft. You can re-evaluate the storyline direction whenever needed. However, this life theme is like having a personal mission statement for your whole life. You are the writer, the director, the star actor. Make it a blockbuster hit by living up to your ultimate potential. The first part was just setting the stage. Go for it now because now is the time.

“Most people are so busy knocking themselves out trying to do everything they think they should do, they never get around to what they want to do.”
— Unknown

Do you feel happiest when you are busy, productive, or working on a project? What happens when you have quiet time? Some people use work to avoid dealing with unhappiness or challenges in their personal lives, such as an unhappy marriage.

In order for happiness to be authentic and last, it must come from more than work. Balance in joy comes when we are with our families, learning new things, helping others, and yes, even when we are in quiet solitude.

See if you are experiencing the busy-bee syndrome, avoiding all that life has to offer and resolve to bring balance in your life through joy in everything and everyone.

“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.”
—W.M. Lewis

How many of us spend our days talking about the life we could have, or will have soon, or should have. Unfortunately, talking about it won’t actually make it happen. Each day you have to consciously decide on the actions to take that will keep you moving forward and avoid the decisions and actions that keep you stuck in the past. Having a desire for change but not taking the necessary actions to accomplish change will leave you at a standstill and probably also leave you feeling disheartened and dissatisfied.

Debbie Ford reminds us in The Best Year of Your Life that now is the time to set clear, concise, structured goals to keep you moving forward. Take the time to set your goals on paper with specific deadlines attached for each major milestone that you need to accomplish. Recognize the action steps that you need to take and do them. With each new action you take you will be one step closer to fulfilling your goals and your desires.

“You lose your balance when you say, ‘I will not accept what is happening to me.’”
— Marilyn Eileen Charlton, Life on the Causal Plain, A Glimpse of Heven

You lose your own intuitive guidance when you don’t accept what is happening to you in your life. The main goal for change is to become balanced again. In the simplest terms we are all striving for balance in our lives. However, this balance actually comes by going with the flow of life and accepting even the times that are not as easy to understand or to accept.

Life is not simply a predetermined destination. It is the journey that we are on every day. There may be unexpected curves and turns in the road we are on. We may encounter low valleys and high mountains. However, with each step we take on this journey, we are shaping who we are and who we will become. And with this adventurous path, every day, we will discover the best in ourselves — if we accept what happens to us along the way.

“Karma: from the root kri, “to do”, is the means by which you become the architect of your own destiny.”
— Definition

At this very moment we are creating — we are creating our Karma whether it is good or bad, by habit or by purpose. It is not something that lives in our pasts waiting to reward or punish us, but is something that we are dealing with daily, in every moment.

So take a good look at your design, your layout, your building that you are creating each moment. Are you building a castle or a dungeon? Our thoughts actually create our destiny by building with the bricks of our mind.

If you don’t really like what you have built so far, there is always time to remodel, renovate, and redesign. Take away the walls of fear and doubt and put in some big picture windows to see the beautiful view before you. Become the best architect you could ever hope for your home, your life.