“The harder you fight to hold on to specific assumptions, the more likely there’s gold in letting go of them.”
— John Seely Brown, Fast Company

The weight of emotional baggage can be overwhelming at times. I once had someone explain it to me this way: Imagine that all our negative emotions go into a bucket, and each time we hold on to a negative emotion it raises the level bit by bit. Sometimes, we may just be mildly upset and only a small drop goes in which doesn’t raise it up much. Other times we may be very upset and it starts going up to the top faster and faster.

But what happens when the bucket gets full? In my experience, even the smallest upset will allow all the old emotions to spill over the sides and it becomes very, very messy.

How do we overcome this? Letting go. If you need to have a bucket, make sure it has some holes in it and visualize the negativity escaping out the bottom when you are not looking. Let go of anger and resentment about things that are not controllable. Let go of the pain you are carrying with you in that heavy bucket from things that happened long ago. Let go of the regrets, disappointments and excuses.

Forgiveness, love, compassion, understanding — these are the tools to keep you moving forward and living the life you are in right now. When you let go, you will find your gold.

“Although you enjoy having high standards, it’s important to view yourself through loving eyes. Berating yourself only makes your spirit sink. Self-improvement comes from a positive mind-set.”
— Doreen Virtue

There are times where we may feel disconnected from ourselves or our purpose in life. Often self-sabotage is the common reason that we cut ourselves off from the flow of life. It may be that we do this unconsciously to avoid dealing with certain issues or painful situations in our life.

See yourself through loving eyes and have the courage to take the steps to grow and reconnect. There is a flow to the universe and you need to jump into it with complete faith. Nothing has ever really left you, you just need to allow yourself to see the love and strength inside you again.

“To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others.”
— Anne-Sophie Swetchine

Have you heard the explanation of true love, of a soul-mate before that goes like this; Two halves of a circle coming together to form a whole? What do you think of that definition? I know when I was growing up, that was conveyed to me in what I read, what I saw in the movies, etc. So somehow along the way, I figured that must be what true love was all about.

But what happens when the other person that I am a “half-of” doesn’t give me what I need? What if something is missing on my half. Aren’t they supposed to be my better half? Aren’t they supposed to complete me?

Well, I’ve decided to go with a different definition of “true love”. Instead of seeing two halves coming together, I see two complete (and separate) rings interlocking. Two complete people with different needs and personalities and ways of doing things that work well together (at least most of the time). If something is not complete, it is lacking in your ring. And it is for you to complete yourself and find out what is missing in your ring that will bring you contentment and keep your love intact.

“Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.”
— Czech Proverb

I know some people who have been hurt, emotionally, by people they thought loved them. And understandably they are now cautious of trusting again, loving again. So they put up their protection shields to keep people out. That way they won’t get hurt again, right?

But what are they keeping out? Perhaps they won’t get hurt by others, but the life they are now creating seems to be hurting their chances for joy, their chances for feeling love again. As much as we all would prefer to live without hurt, keeping everyone out for fear of them hurting us again will also keep out all who would love us again.

Instead of surrounding yourself with a fence of mistrust and fear, surround yourself with a circle of supportive and loving friends. Allow yourself to attract those that would love you by loving others first.

“I would love to be an optimist, but I don’t think it’s going to work out.” — Anonymous

As Sarah Ban Breathnach reminds us in Simple Abundance, “Optimism, like the happiness habit, can be learned.” Well, that is good news for everyone. All we have to do is to let go of our thoughts of lack, our thoughts of suffering, our thoughts of failure. We must also realize that it may not all happen over night.

We must allow ourselves the grace to make these Real Life Changes day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. They may seem like baby steps at first, but even a baby learns how to run if you give it the freedom try and to make mistakes along the way and learn from those very mistakes.

Begin the change to optimism today by smiling at those that cross your path. Believe in yourself no matter what task you plan to accomplish. If there are clouds in the sky, realize that they too will pass and the sun will shine again. It always does. And love will shine in your soul if you give yourself a friendly nudge in the right direction.

“Love fulfilled sees where we could have gone the way of love before, if we’d known how, and how insecurities limited many of our choices. Love fulfilled perceives new meaning and higher reasons behind many of the mysteries of why things happened as they did.”
— Doc Childre

Have you ever questioned why you have chosen to have certain people in your life — and more specifically in your romantic life? We all have very good reasons for making our love choices, even if we are not consciously aware of them. We may choose a relationship that will improve our life in some way, teach us something important that couldn’t be learned in any other way, or challenge us to become better people.

Today, take a closer look at the relationships you have chosen for yourself. What is the mirror in front of you trying to tell you, trying to teach you? Our relationships can be more than just a source of happiness (or pain) if we look at them from a different point of view. Why did you choose to be with this person? What are you getting out of this relationship that makes it so valuable to your life path?

Taking this moment to look deeper into the meaning of your partnering choices, you may be surprised at the deeper hidden messages that you have been sending to yourself over the years through your significant other. Give yourself the gift of self-awareness and accelerate your learning by opening up your mind to the possibilities of growth that your relationships give to you.

“There is no stress in the world, only people thinking stressful thoughts and then acting on them.”
— Dr. Wayne Dyer

Misery is not supposed to be the norm of life. Take out the stress and drama in your life and you will see that it is actually all good and can even be fun. Joy and love is what you are truly all about. It is the natural state of your being. Allow yourself to be the true you and see what a difference it will make everyday in every aspect of your life.

It doesn’t matter what you are doing — work, school, daily chores — have fun with it by adding a smile or laugh. Spread the joy of life around you to others who have forgotten that life is supposed to be fun. See even the most mundane of tasks for what for what it is — a stepping stone on your journey to the greatest life for you.

“Appreciation is a powerful tool to shift perspective. Finding something to appreciate during a difficult situation quickly moves the perspective to the big picture from the little picture.”
— Doc Childre and Bruce Cryer, From Chaos to Coherence

What do you have to appreciate in your life right now? During the challenging moments in our life, learning to shift perspective can be the true key to your present and future happiness and success.

In our daily bustle and routine, we may slip into a state of complaint or pity. And it is when we allow our focus to remain on the difficult situations that the pain and challenge seems to amplify.

Allow yourself to find something good in the picture and allow that to grow instead. As you get the benefit of both perspectives you will learn to be consistently thankful and approving, and your life will subsequently grow in value. (more…)

“If you yourself are at peace, then there is at least some peace in the world.”
— Thomas Merton

Inner peace can be found through many different methods: through meditation, through gratitude, through love. When you make decisions in your life that bring about a sense of calmness it means that you are listening to your inner guides or your intuition which will not lead you astray.

This little bit of peace may seem so insignificant when there are so many people suffering in the world and so much conflict wherever we look. But if everyone were to focus on peace within themselves, it would lead to more peace in the world one person at a time.

“Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.”
— Czech Proverb

I know some people who have been hurt, emotionally, by people they thought loved them. And understandably they are now cautious of trusting again, loving again. So they put up their protection shields to keep people out. That way they won’t get hurt again, right?

But what are they keeping out? Perhaps they won’t get hurt by others, but the life they are now creating seems to be hurting their chances for joy, their chances for feeling love again. As much as we all would prefer to live without hurt, keeping everyone out for fear of them hurting us again will also keep out all who would love us again.

Instead of surrounding yourself with a fence of mistrust and fear, surround yourself with a circle of supportive and loving friends. Allow yourself to attract those that would love you by loving others first.