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“Life is an adventure in forgiveness.”
— Norman Cousins (1912-1990)

If I were to ask you to remember a past event that caused some sort of negative emotion for you, how would you feel about talking about it? Would you feel all the negative emotions filling up your brain and your heart? Do you begin to feel the sadness, the anger, the frustration of that event even though you are completely removed from that moment in time? It’s almost like the past is reliving itself all over again just by talking about it.

So why is it that so many of us insist on talking about our painful past events, digging up minute details, and allowing ourselves to be caught up in all that emotion all over again? What is to be gained? What is to be improved doing this over and over again with no resolution in sight?

It is my firm belief that you do not have to keep talking about the past in order to work out the issues associated with it. I call it active forgetting. We all know that these types of events don’t just disappear from our memories, even if we don’t talk about them everyday. They are part of who we are. So let us start by understanding and accepting that we have not forgotten and therefore we do not need to refresh our memories by talking about them.

However, in my day to day life, I will not allow myself to be a victim of my past. I will however, actively use that marker as a learning tool, a silent reminder that I use as a clear guide as to what I want my life to be like. I am focused on the now and fill my life with positive energy and love. Therefore, if I don’t want to feel those negative emotions anymore, it is key to not rehash the old events. Focus on present day issues.

I do remember, I do forgive, and I live a life of love from now onward.

“Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all, because the mind is never new, fresh, innocent.”
—Krishnamurti

When we hold onto our past, we do not allow ourselves the freedom to grow and move forward into the present moment. Instead, we carry these heavy loads of upsets, hurts, and regrets over past events which invariably steal our energy and love in some form or another. The worst part of holding on to the pains of our past is that it allows the negative energy to seep into our present and our future.

In order to start living with true freedom we must find closure to these incidents or people that are attached to the pain. We must allow forgiveness to help heal our wounds by choosing to let go of the past wrongs and no longer be hurt by them. Do not let these unresolved issues block you from expressing your greatest self. Imagine how good it will be to have a clear field to plant the seeds for your future.