“My mind is a garden. My thoughts are the seeds. My harvest will be either flowers or weeds.”
— Mel Weldon

What are the seeds you are planting in your garden every day? Are they thoughts based on fear, lack, or anger? These types of thoughts planted on a daily basis will most likely result in a garden of weeds. Thoughts based on acceptance, abundance, and love tend to grow a beautiful garden of flowers. More likely, we get a mixture of the two.

I am an avid gardener and when I look out on my garden, I can usually spot at least a weed or two doing its best to sneak in between a bunch of flowers. If I want to maintain my garden with all its blooms, I have to remove the weed quickly, while it is still small, and before it has a chance to spread throughout. Weeds are a tougher species, too. They don’t require you to water and care for them and yet they will still grow and spread. In fact, during the droughts they tend to be the only things to remain in your garden.

Our thoughts are the same. It is normal to have a negative thought now and then attempt to plant itself in our brain. If we are not careful and diligent to remove the negative thought, it will grow bigger and stronger and even start to spread to the rest of our thoughts.

Be the expert gardener of your thoughts and you can ensure a beautiful garden full of flowers and free of weeds. It’s your choice.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.”
— Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

When you say what you fear out loud, you will often find how ridiculous, or inaccurate, or inappropriate it is for your life. I had a talk a while back with my husband about one of the fears holding me back from making some simple phone calls. I had to call some people that I didn’t know in order to set up an interview time with them. In my mind I knew that this was no big deal for me to do. I have definitely done more challenging tasks or assignments. So what was holding me back? Why was I so afraid to just make these calls? I had been procrastinating for over two weeks now, coming up with excuse after excuse as to why I should put it off until the next day.

Well, with a little self-probing I realized that it wasn’t making the phone calls that was posing the problem, but making the phone calls with my husband within earshot. I was fearing his judgment or criticism of me and my ability to call up strangers to book an interview. No wait, take it a step further, I was afraid he would think that I am not as competent as I always lead him to believe. I wanted to make the calls when he wasn’t around, so that if I said something “stupid”, he wouldn’t know about it and couldn’t criticize me. So really, I was fearing being criticized by someone who I really respect and value their opinion. (more…)

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened”
— Winston Churchill

I just finished writing to my step-daughter about worrying. She is in the middle of a worry-fest and I needed to help her release her fears around the situation. Why?

First because she doesn’t even know what she is dealing with, and therefore she is expending a lot of energy on something that she can’t even put a real name to, let alone do anything about right now. Secondly, because she is such a busy person that it is a complete waste of her time to focus any of her thoughts into such an unknown territory. As this anonymous quote points out well, “Worry is like a rocking chair—it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” And she has plenty of better things to do and bigger places to go.

So my advice for those who fall into the common habit of worry; keep living and solve the issues when they come up, because if they aren’t real enough to fix right now, they may not exist at all.

“For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news.”
— Gloria Borger

Turn on the TV and watch the news and what will you see? Most likely you will get a recap of the days violence in your city and around the world. OK, now read the paper. What do you get there? More violence, fraud, and negativity most likely, focusing primarily on informing us of things to fear in life.

It’s no wonder that with all these negative images and stories that we find ourselves focusing on the negative things in our lives as well. This also can help to escalate the fear-based reactions in our day to day living.

What if we were to focus on not only surrounding ourselves with positive people, but positive news as well? Imagine we would celebrate together as a society all the good things that are happening in our city and around the world. Maybe we would be building up the positive energy in our minds to the point where it would be spreading faster than the negative energy?

Spread the positive energy by surrounding yourself with happy news and stories. And then tell others of these happy events as well. Here’s a web site with just happy news for your fun and enjoyment: Happy News

“The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust.”
—Henry L. Stimson (1867 - 1950)

The power of your thoughts can influence trusting another person. As Henry Stimson points out, the more you believe and treat someone as trustworthy, the more trustworthy they become to you. Conversely, if you put all your energy into not trusting someone, they will turn out to be untrustworthy. You create your own reality with your thoughts and beliefs.

But I would also encourage you to discover what is the true nature of your distrust. Is it based on present facts or fears? From personal experience, I have found that trusting someone has more to do with allowing yourself to open up to possible vulnerabilities. And therefore it has not so much to do with the other’s actions or behavior, but more to do with your own fear of being hurt.

In order to trust someone else, it is vital that you begin to trust yourself. You must trust that you are a strong enough person to handle whatever comes your way. You must trust that you are able to open your heart up and allow others in. In doing so you face your fear of getting hurt. And as Shakti Gawain reminds us, “When I’m trusting and being myself… everything in my life reflects this by falling into place easily, often miraculously.”

“Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.”
— Czech Proverb

I know some people who have been hurt, emotionally, by people they thought loved them. And understandably they are now cautious of trusting again, loving again. So they put up their protection shields to keep people out. That way they won’t get hurt again, right?

But what are they keeping out? Perhaps they won’t get hurt by others, but the life they are now creating seems to be hurting their chances for joy, their chances for feeling love again. As much as we all would prefer to live without hurt, keeping everyone out for fear of them hurting us again will also keep out all who would love us again.

Instead of surrounding yourself with a fence of mistrust and fear, surround yourself with a circle of supportive and loving friends. Allow yourself to attract those that would love you by loving others first.

“It is only by following your deepest instinct that you can lead a rich life, and if you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, then your life will be safe, expedient and thin.”
—Katharine Butler Hathaway

There are two different voices that can call out to you from within, so it is easy to be fooled. One is your true inner self giving you the guidance to follow your heart, to follow your intuition, to follow your gut. Its voice is nudging but in a gentle knowing way. It will lead you to what is best for you. It is often described as a calm sense of knowing.

The other voice is usually more intense so it can be heard often louder than the true voice of intuition. But it can also be described as panicky, even abusive and it is closely associated to the ego. Often there are many judgments attached to the reasoning, and the outcome is usually not a happy or satisfying one. The underlying emotion is one based on fear.

If you are in a moment of indecision and you don’t know which voice to listen to, relax, take some deep breaths and ask in a loving, calm voice for the true answer to come to you. You will be surprised at how clearly the answer arrives when you are open to receiving it.

To understand how to tap into (or unlock) your intuition, check out Andrea Hess’ book, Unlock Your Intuition:

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”
— Ambrose Redmoon

Through conversations with friends and family I have seen first-hand what fear-based thoughts can do to hold us back from living to our fullest. Whether it is a financial situation that weighs heavily on us, or a relationship that is struggling, it seems that most of the road blocks in the way are actually imaginary scenarios on which they are placing an enormous amount of importance.

Have the courage to see beyond your fears to a life that is exactly as you might describe in an ideal scenario. When we let our imaginations rule our minds with all the negative possibilities, it is not easy to see the brighter more positive side to it all. Have courage to live a life that is more important than all the difficulties our fear has created in our minds. Real life is more important than fear.

Successful people have fears, they simply walk through them to arrive at their dreams.