Honor your emotions, don’t dwell on them

“In dealing with emotions, the first step is awareness. Identify the emotion, but don’t identify with the emotion.”
— Stephanie Noble, “Emotions as Honored Guests”

How do you deal with your emotions? Do you let them overwhelm you, giving them added energy? Do you try to ignore them, forcing them to get your attention by whatever means possible?

Emotions are a normal, natural part of being human. Each emotion you feel — happiness, joy, love, frustration, anger, sadness — is trying to convey a message to you and has a purpose for your present journey. In order to learn from them, you must honor them enough to acknowledge their presence. However, it is important to realize that you don’t need to become the emotion in order to understand it.

My personal technique to deal with the more negative emotions is to become aware of the exact emotion I am experiencing. I allow myself to feel it. I allow myself to understand where it is coming from. And then I quietly say to myself, “release”, to keep the emotion in motion and out of my being (emotion = energy in motion).

Be the neutral observer to your own emotions and you will neither let it take over your life right then and there nor later when it ends up boiling over from years of neglect. Deal with each individual emotion until you understand why it has come to you at this time. You don’t need to be a victim or hostage to your emotions any longer. And you will probably surprise yourself at the wisdom your emotions hold.

Taking a deeper look

“You need to listen to your body because your body is listening to you.” — Phillip C. McGraw

I went to a reflexologist a while ago. What an amazing experience. And I was amazed at how my feet were able to say so much about me.

She would press in one spot and I would squirm. “Ah, this is your digestive track. Something you are eating is maybe not being tolerated that well.” OK. She caught me eating wheat, when I know my body works best without it.

Then another spot. “Hmmm. Maybe some anger issues here?” What? I thought I was done with my anger! Well, my foot says otherwise, so time to look deeper I guess.

The list went on and on. I was a little shocked I have to admit. But nothing that I could really say was completely off. Just stuff that I really thought I was good with now. But my body is doing its best to tell me otherwise. It’s good to keep looking deeper, cause you really never know what you will find. Since then, I have been working through these issues one by one… and my feet are thanking me for it.

Let yourself be present to your emotions

“What if, instead of ‘reframing’ my emotions, I simply welcomed them and allowed them to be fully felt? I wonder if I might find this peace she is speaking about in the core of the feeling?”
— Brandon Bays, The Journey

What an interesting concept. Not only does Brandon Bays suggest that you accept your emotions, but she actually believes that we should welcome all our emotions and feel them completely. These days you hear everything from changing your negative thoughts to positive ones, do whatever you can to avoid the emotions, or even recommendations to take drugs to numb the feelings.

It has been on my journey of self-discovery that I have discovered that nothing is what it seems at the surface level. All the emotions I have been working through to get to my best me has proven that my first surface, impression was usually inaccurate. My anger wasn’t just anger, it was fear. My self-destructive thoughts were actually there to show me that I lacked self-confidence. I could go on and on.

Once you allow yourself to feel your emotions fully, but not wallow in them or dump them on someone else, you can start to peal away the layers that have been building up on the original feeling. Sometimes you will even discover that your present day breakdowns have more to do with a past emotional hurt than with the trigger event that brought the feelings up in the present moment.

A case for peace

“Of one thing I am certain, the body is not the measure of healing — peace is the measure.”
— George Melton

Researchers claim that quarrels with your partner may stop your body’s ability to heal quickly. Hostility, depression, and stress all promote the release of an inflammatory protein in the blood that works two-fold. At healthy levels this protein helps in the healing process. However, chronically high levels of this blood protein can contribute to cardiovascular disease, arthritis, and some forms of cancer.

Take steps to boost your emotional and physical well-being by working on promoting a peaceful relationship and doing things you enjoy together.

I forgive you as I forgive myself

“If there is a challenge in the great tragedies that are visited upon us, it is only this: that if we were not to transcend them, we would descend into a darkness so great that, like a star burning in upon itself, we would implode, taking all with us as we died.” — Kent Nerburn

Ah, the wonderful feeling of having a huge weight lift from your heart. Forgiveness. Forgiving someone else, as I have often mentioned, is truly an act of self-love as you are freeing yourself from the burden of anger.

But what about yourself? Are there things for which you are not forgiving yourself? Are you burdening yourself with guilt?

I find that when people are not able to forgive others, it actually starts much closer to home. There usually lurks some past issues that they have not dealt with completely. And since they cannot grant this gift to themselves, it is impossible to give it to others.

Once again, take the steps to free yourself from your past and make this your newest mantra: “I forgive you as I forgive myself”.

Love yourself enough to forgive another

“Resentment or grudges do no harm to the person against whom you hold these feelings but every day and every night of your life, they are eating at you.”
— Norman Vincent Peale

I was asked the other day, what is the one thing that I would rank as the most important thing for personal growth. Easily and instinctively I said, “Forgiveness”.

When I look at the world, when I talk to my friends and neighbors, the majority of the time I can hear situations where grudges, resentment, anger, and even hatred rule their lives more than they even realize.

Some ask, why should you forgive if someone has deliberately harmed you? Take a look at what non-forgiveness does to your life and you won’t need to ask. I have a friend who says there is barely a minute of the day that goes by where he isn’t thinking about how much he was hurt. Then there are the sleepless nights and nightmares that haunt as well.

Why put yourself through that? Aren’t you worth more than that? How much more would you be able to accomplish if you could free your mind of those negative, resentful thoughts. How much better you would feel if you could get a good night’s sleep.

Therefore, forgiveness is really simply an act of self-love.

Your thoughts are your garden

“My mind is a garden. My thoughts are the seeds. My harvest will be either flowers or weeds.”
— Mel Weldon

What are the seeds you are planting in your garden every day? Are they thoughts based on fear, lack, or anger? These types of thoughts planted on a daily basis will most likely result in a garden of weeds. Thoughts based on acceptance, abundance, and love tend to grow a beautiful garden of flowers. More likely, we get a mixture of the two.

I am an avid gardener and when I look out on my garden, I can usually spot at least a weed or two doing its best to sneak in between a bunch of flowers. If I want to maintain my garden with all its blooms, I have to remove the weed quickly, while it is still small, and before it has a chance to spread throughout. Weeds are a tougher species, too. They don’t require you to water and care for them and yet they will still grow and spread. In fact, during the droughts they tend to be the only things to remain in your garden.

Our thoughts are the same. It is normal to have a negative thought now and then attempt to plant itself in our brain. If we are not careful and diligent to remove the negative thought, it will grow bigger and stronger and even start to spread to the rest of our thoughts.

Be the expert gardener of your thoughts and you can ensure a beautiful garden full of flowers and free of weeds. It’s your choice.