“You have to make darn sure not to put yourself in the proximity of complainers. If you absolutely have to be nearby, make sure you bring a steel umbrella or the crap meant for them will get you too!”
— Harv Eker, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind

You know the saying, misery likes company? And by now, we understand that what we focus on expands. So if we are around people who complain a lot, then what they are attracting into their lives may spread to yours if you let it affect you.

There was a person in my life like that, and each time we spoke, I came away feeling really drained and found myself getting really aggravated by the littlest things she would say. I couldn’t figure it out at first, but then I realized she was always complaining to me about how miserable her life is, and how horrible her childhood was. I would do my best to give her some empowering guidance or simply a sympathetic ear. But the story never changed. Instead of me helping her feel better, her negative energy was far stronger (and more rehearsed) so it ended up bringing my energy closer to her lower level.

Even though it is our intention to help, sometimes it is better for everyone to simply stay away from miserable people — at least the ones who have no intention (subconsciously perhaps) of ever changing for the better. This can be tricky to do if you are in a profession that is out to help people in this state. And I am not suggesting that we abandon the souls in need. However, make sure you have your energy shields up to protect you from these misfortune magnets.

“You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.”
— Tony Robbins

For many years this was the way it was for me. I would read all these fantastic books on spirituality, health, wellness, etc. The academic in me would take it all in and I could happily report that I had read all these authors with their important messages of personal growth.

So why was my life such a mess? I knew it all, right?

Well, first off, I don’t believe we will ever truly know it all. There is so much to know out there. And it is constantly evolving. And secondly, I didn’t actually know this stuff since I wasn’t actually living it.

Get off the knowledge junkie path and start taking action with all the knowledge you have built up in your life. I do believe we have the knowledge inside each and everyone of us for living to our highest potential if we would just do what we already know.

“Think about what you want, not what you don’t want. Guard your thoughts carefully, because they create your experiences.”
— Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.

When you are sitting there innocently and a thought pops into your head, do you think the thought chose you or did you choose it? Even if it doesn’t seem so, our thoughts never choose us. We always choose our thoughts every moment of the day. And there are no neutral thoughts because each thought triggers an emotion. Thoughts are energy and emotions are energy in motion and they will have an effect on your world one way or another.

With practice you can learn to monitor and choose not to hold a thought that begins to form. Before long you will be able to focus your mind at will on only loving thoughts that will create the world around you just as you wish.

In The Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer, Gregg Braden was invited by a Native American friend to meet him in a place where they had gone to pray rain for as long as anyone could remember. He was not prepared for what he was about to see as he was expecting dancing or chanting at the very least. The gentleman removed his shoes, stepped into a stone circle, turned his back to Gregg, honored his ancestors and the elements. He held his hands in a prayer position and about 20 seconds later said he said he was hungry.

“I thought you were going to pray for rain?” And he said, “No. If I prayed FOR rain, rain could never happen because the moment we ask for something to occur, we have just acknowledged and empowered the fact that it is not there.” So what did he do? He said he felt the feeling of what it feels like when they have the rain in his village. He smelled the smells of the rain. He felt the feeling of the mud on his naked feet.

Focus on the rain, not the lack of it.

“Love the ones you can. Touch the ones you can reach. Let the others go.”
— Real Live Preacher

When we touch, whether it is a gentle pat, hug, or intense massage, there are many benefits that we experience. Touching can make your immune system stronger and your mood lighter. The more touches you give or receive the better you feel. Touching is an easy way to add comfort to your life.

Women in particular need to be touched even more than men because our skin is more sensitive and we experience higher levels of stress and lower levels of chemicals that combat stress.

Show the universe what a wonderful giver and receiver you are and reach out and touch someone and accept their touch in return. Your life will be happier, healthier, and you will be making someone else’s life that much better too.

“For every person who wants to teach there are approximately thirty people who don’t want to learn — much.”
— W.C. Sellar and R.J. Yeatman, And Now All This (1932) introduction

How many of you want to grow? And what is growing? Is staying the same a part of growing? Or does the actual word “growing” imply change? The thing is, you are only going to grow if you are uncomfortable — by stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things that are different from what you are doing right now.

So what is holding you back from growing? The number one phrase that will keep you exactly the way you are is, “I know that”. But do you really “know” it? Or have you heard about it, talked about it, read about it. You only really “know” it if you are living it.

I repeat, you only know it if you are living it.

So take a look. Are you living what you say you know? Be open to learning. At at the same time, be open to UN-learning all that doesn’t serve you in your quest to grow.

“I even moved to a new city, where nobody knew me. [...] Well, I found that moving didn’t help. I had taken myself with me.”
— Neale Donald Walsch

When things are just not going well, it’s such a wonderful thought to change your surroundings. Just move away from all the challenges in your life. New place, new home, new people around you, new distractions. At least at first. Only one small little oversight, you go wherever you move. And if things aren’t right with you where you are right now, chances are it may have little to do with where you live and more to do with the way you are living your life.

Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t move. But while you are going, take a look at all the assets you want to bring with you. Don’t immediately toss out the ones you think are “negative” either. Just like certain furniture, you can save your assets by giving them a quick polish.

As Neale Donald Walsch states, “All of your so-called faults, all the things which you don’t like about yourself are your greatest assets. They are simply over-amplified. The volume has been turned up a bit too much, that’s all.”

So take an inventory: stubborn equals strong, flighty equals spontaneous, angry equals passionate, etc. All you have to do is use these behaviors differently, not throw them out. These “negative” ways of being can be turned into gifts when used properly and with the right amount of energy.

“When the student is ready, the master appears.”
— Buddhist saying

Making changes in your life is something for which you may have to mentally prepare yourself. As I have mentioned before, change begins when you make the decision to do so. It is the catalyst that starts the engine of change going along it’s new tracks.

Certain new goals you decide on could use some outside guidance or instruction or support. Your new decision for change will subconsciously send out the message that you are ready to accept guidance and assistance for this new journey. So be ready for the “master” to appear. And even more so, be ready to accept the guidance or wisdom offered to you at that moment of synchronicity.

“Nothing is more tragic than someone who has sight, but no vision.”
— Helen Keller

What is the vision of your future? If you were to project yourself into the future, say five years from now, on the current path you are heading, what do you see? Are you happy, are you living to your fullest potential?

Now, take this one step further. If you were to make some changes in your life that you have been contemplating but haven’t quite made the leap in that direction — see yourself in five years from that point with these changes influencing your path. What’s different? What’s better?

I had help projecting myself into the future and was pleased and motivated by the second level of being. If I were to leave my inhibitions behind and just go for it, what a difference it would make in my life, even five years down the road.

Sometimes even the most logical changes to be made are difficult to commit to since they are not immediately rewarded. Quitting smoking, losing weight, building a successful business, to name but a few goals, these take time and considerable effort to achieve and then maintain. A month or even a year down the road doesn’t necessarily mark the end of the goal or the complete rewards for your efforts. But five years, ten years, twenty years will definitely see the mark of these positive changes.

“Successful people are not without problems. They’re simply people who’ve learned to solve their problems.”
— Earl Nightingale

The universe rewards action. If you have a goal, but you don’t have a plan, it actually could more accurately be called a wish. And even more so, if you have problems and you reason that if you run away from them or turn your back on them, they will somehow just disappear, you may be running for a long time.

That doesn’t mean that you should stop dreaming. It is those thoughts that will help you create your reality. Realize though, that there will not be a magic pill that suddenly changes everything to good in your life. But there can be a magic mindset that allows you to see the situation from a different perspective.

Be a success. Face your problems. Work on them. Set goals and take actual action steps to bring you closer to solving them. Review your goals and see what areas still need work. Revise your goals if your ego has tricked you to make them unattainable, and therefore sabotaging your efforts right from the get-go.

Live in the now. Be grateful for all you have in your life and be responsible for everything that is happening in the present moment, for you are creating the stepping stones for your future “now”.

“Karma: from the root kri, “to do”, is the means by which you become the architect of your own destiny.”
— Definition

At this very moment we are creating — we are creating our Karma whether it is good or bad, by habit or by purpose. It is not something that lives in our pasts waiting to reward or punish us, but is something that we are dealing with daily, in every moment.

So take a good look at your design, your layout, your building that you are creating each moment. Are you building a castle or a dungeon? Our thoughts actually create our destiny by building with the bricks of our mind.

If you don’t really like what you have built so far, there is always time to remodel, renovate, and redesign. Take away the walls of fear and doubt and put in some big picture windows to see the beautiful view before you. Become the best architect you could ever hope for your home, your life.