“People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.”
— Thomas Szasz

I’ve been reading and studying the best ways to improve my life, to live to my highest potential. So how have I been doing? Honestly? It’s still a challenge. There are still many things that I am constantly having to reread, remind, rework, and redo. Some days I am flying high and I am certain that nothing can slow me down and then, wham! Someone pushes an old “hot button” on me and I lose the balance and insight that have kept me on track.

However, I know that it is ok. I’m still doing well overall. I know that I am on a path of learning and self-discovery and part of that learning and discovery is finding out what still needs work.

Believe in yourself even when you may slip off the path for a moment. Put all that you have learned into practice again and bring it to life through your days. Every moment, even the off ones, are moments to learn and grow and create your life.

“The power to create quality of life is not in any planner. The power to create quality of life is within us, in our ability to develop and use our own inner-compass so that we can act with integrity in the moment of choice.”
— Stephen Covey

What will happen tomorrow? Or the next day? Or the next week, month, year? Other than some fairly predictable norms in my life, I wouldn’t be able to answer that with much detail or accuracy because I simply cannot know about something that has not yet happened. And what about all the things that are going to happen that I can’t even imagine at this present moment? How will they affect the equation when I didn’t put them into my calculations?

So why do we take up so much of our time thinking, or worse yet, worrying about the future when we have no way to know for certain what it will entail?

No matter how challenging your situation appears to you at this time, you can make it through one day at a time. Focus on the present day and moment and what action steps you can take right now. Understand that each conscious choice you make now will create the quality of life upon which you decide.

“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.”
—W.M. Lewis

How many of us spend our days talking about the life we could have, or will have soon, or should have. Unfortunately, talking about it won’t actually make it happen. Each day you have to consciously decide on the actions to take that will keep you moving forward and avoid the decisions and actions that keep you stuck in the past. Having a desire for change but not taking the necessary actions to accomplish change will leave you at a standstill and probably also leave you feeling disheartened and dissatisfied.

Debbie Ford reminds us in The Best Year of Your Life that now is the time to set clear, concise, structured goals to keep you moving forward. Take the time to set your goals on paper with specific deadlines attached for each major milestone that you need to accomplish. Recognize the action steps that you need to take and do them. With each new action you take you will be one step closer to fulfilling your goals and your desires.

“As one thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
— Dr. David Schwartz, Magic of Thinking Big

Live big in your heart and you will live big in life. This could mean big in happiness, big in accomplishment, big in income, big in relationships, big in respect. You name it. When you dream a life to the point that you feel it is true in your heart, these thoughts will create real action in your life.

Take a few steps forward in your dreams and aspirations by allowing moments of opportunity and experience to come your way. Practice being the kind of person people like. Take initiative and introduce yourself to others with a smile at every opportunity.

Encourage others to talk to you about their views, opinions, and accomplishments. It also helps to practice courtesy. This makes others feel better and you will feel better about yourself, too. Accept responsibility when a setback occurs for it is a gift to be able to learn from your actions. Act like a successful person and you are a successful person!

“You lose your balance when you say, ‘I will not accept what is happening to me.’”
— Marilyn Eileen Charlton, Life on the Causal Plain, A Glimpse of Heven

You lose your own intuitive guidance when you don’t accept what is happening to you in your life. The main goal for change is to become balanced again. In the simplest terms we are all striving for balance in our lives. However, this balance actually comes by going with the flow of life and accepting even the times that are not as easy to understand or to accept.

Life is not simply a predetermined destination. It is the journey that we are on every day. There may be unexpected curves and turns in the road we are on. We may encounter low valleys and high mountains. However, with each step we take on this journey, we are shaping who we are and who we will become. And with this adventurous path, every day, we will discover the best in ourselves — if we accept what happens to us along the way.

“You’re not obligated to win. You’re obligated to keep trying to do the best you can every day.”
— Marian Wright Edelman

When I attended a seminar a couple of years ago (Millionaire Mind Intensive), I learned a very valuable lesson that I didn’t even realize I needed to learn. It was about staying in the game. Not taking myself out before I even gave something a go (thanks to that little voice in my head coming up with all the reasons I shouldn’t do something). Before that moment, I didn’t know that I did this. I had to admit though, once the concept was presented to me, that I did indeed, at times, take myself out of the game before I even started playing.

For example, have you ever really wanted to do something you had never tried before, but chickened out even before giving it a real effort? Perhaps a dream job that you don’t apply for because “they wouldn’t hire you anyway” (your ego calling out to keep you safe). Or that solo in the church choir they are auditioning for — “they always use the same person for the solos so why bother”. Perhaps they always use the same person because no one else bothers to even show up to audition?!

Stay in the game. Maybe you won’t win all the time. But that’s OK. Just don’t take yourself out before “the tribe has spoken” (for all you Survivor fans). As the cliché goes, “You can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket.”

“In dealing with emotions, the first step is awareness. Identify the emotion, but don’t identify with the emotion.”
— Stephanie Noble, “Emotions as Honored Guests”

How do you deal with your emotions? Do you let them overwhelm you, giving them added energy? Do you try to ignore them, forcing them to get your attention by whatever means possible?

Emotions are a normal, natural part of being human. Each emotion you feel — happiness, joy, love, frustration, anger, sadness — is trying to convey a message to you and has a purpose for your present journey. In order to learn from them, you must honor them enough to acknowledge their presence. However, it is important to realize that you don’t need to become the emotion in order to understand it.

Be the neutral observer to your own emotions and you will neither let it take over your life right then and there nor later when it ends up boiling over from years of neglect. Deal with each individual emotion until you understand why it has come to you at this time. You don’t need to be a victim or hostage to your emotions any longer. And you will probably surprise yourself at the wisdom your emotions hold.

“I even moved to a new city, where nobody knew me. [...] Well, I found that moving didn’t help. I had taken myself with me.”
— Neale Donald Walsch

When things are just not going well, it’s such a wonderful thought to change your surroundings. Just move away from all the challenges in your life. New place, new home, new people around you, new distractions. At least at first. Only one small little oversight, you go wherever you move. And if things aren’t right with you where you are right now, chances are it may have little to do with where you live and more to do with the way you are living your life.

Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t move. But while you are going, take a look at all the assets you want to bring with you. Don’t immediately toss out the ones you think are “negative” either. Just like certain furniture, you can save your assets by giving them a quick polish.

As Neale Donald Walsch states, “All of your so-called faults, all the things which you don’t like about yourself are your greatest assets. They are simply over-amplified. The volume has been turned up a bit too much, that’s all.”

So take an inventory: stubborn equals strong, flighty equals spontaneous, angry equals passionate, etc. All you have to do is use these behaviors differently, not throw them out. These “negative” ways of being can be turned into gifts when used properly and with the right amount of energy.

I also highly recommend reading The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford. It is a wonderful look at embracing your “dark side” and accepting yourself as a whole person.

“Karma: from the root kri, “to do”, is the means by which you become the architect of your own destiny.”
— Definition

At this very moment we are creating — we are creating our Karma whether it is good or bad, by habit or by purpose. It is not something that lives in our pasts waiting to reward or punish us, but is something that we are dealing with daily, in every moment.

So take a good look at your design, your layout, your building that you are creating each moment. Are you building a castle or a dungeon? Our thoughts actually create our destiny by building with the bricks of our mind.

If you don’t really like what you have built so far, there is always time to remodel, renovate, and redesign. Take away the walls of fear and doubt and put in some big picture windows to see the beautiful view before you. Become the best architect you could ever hope for your home, your life.

“Remember when life’s path is steep to keep your mind even.”
— Horace

Today we hear of different viruses cropping up everywhere — colds, flus, even our computers can catch some. Well, I’m here to add a new one to your list: mental viruses.

These are very clever and are virtually undetectable. You may not even be aware that you have them right now. They start off looking very normal and quite innocent. And really, you often don’t even know you are experiencing one until it is too late…

Here’s how they work. You have a goal or a dream. You start on your path with the clear idea in mind of what your passions are and even though you may not know exactly how to get them, you keep on going forward finding a new clue on the road and moving along from there.

Then suddenly, a fantastic opportunity or idea crops up ahead. You know deep down it has nothing to do with your life purpose, your goals, your dreams. But it is something very inviting nonetheless. So you start exploring this new path. Perhaps this is the one you were supposed to be on all the time, you figure. I mean, it is so promising, so engaging. Yet — so distracting.

Time passes, and that virus has left you in the cold. You don’t know why you are there, you aren’t sure how to get back to the main road. And this road is turning into a dead end.

Keep on your true path and avoid the mental viruses that can lead you astray. They may seem like a quicker route to happiness, or abundance, or simply a pleasant diversion. However, they will end up taking you further from your destination and that is what you need to keep clearly in your view.