“Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.”
— Czech Proverb

I know some people who have been hurt, emotionally, by people they thought loved them. And understandably they are now cautious of trusting again, loving again. So they put up their protection shields to keep people out. That way they won’t get hurt again, right?

But what are they keeping out? Perhaps they won’t get hurt by others, but the life they are now creating seems to be hurting their chances for joy, their chances for feeling love again. As much as we all would prefer to live without hurt, keeping everyone out for fear of them hurting us again will also keep out all who would love us again.

Instead of surrounding yourself with a fence of mistrust and fear, surround yourself with a circle of supportive and loving friends. Allow yourself to attract those that would love you by loving others first.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
— Melodie Beattie

Wow! The power of gratitude. Here’s a fun way to remember to be grateful everyday and to unleash this power for your life: Make a nice box, decorate it as you wish, or just buy one that you really like. Write little notes about all the things you are grateful for in your life and put them in this beautiful box. Now, everyday — you pick a time that works best for you — pull them out and think about each and every one of them with love and gratitude. Really feel each one.

Once you get the hang of doing it for the things in your life that you already have, throw in some things that you want to have in your life and feel the same feelings of gratitude. See what happens.

“‘I have done my best.’ That is about all the philosophy of living one needs.”
— Yutang, Lin

To put it simply, your purpose is to live authentically — be who you really are at your core, and you are living your purpose.

So it is not about getting that star job. It is not about getting that dream home. It is not based on circumstance.

It is everything and anything that you do, and doing it with joy and authenticity.

“As we look deeply within, we understand our perfect balance. There is no fear of the cycle of birth, life and death. For when you stand in the present moment, you are timeless.” — Rodney Yee

The thought of death often brings about feelings of fear, doubt, anxiety, confusion, etc. It is unfortunate that in our society we do not better prepare ourselves for the complete cycle of birth, life, and death.

In Michael Newton’s books, Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls, the author explores life between lives. They are books unlike any other book on reincarnation as they deal with the moments between each lifetime as well as the past and future lives of our souls.

If you are dealing with the grief of losing a loved one, this book can bring wonderful comfort as it validates that the person you love is not really gone and how their souls can continue to communicate with you through quiet contemplation and meditation and removing any blocks of doubt.

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.”
— Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

Feeling overwhelmed by deadlines, goals, ambitions, expectations? Sometimes the actual feat seems so much bigger when you look at it as a whole. Take a few deep breaths and see what the task on hand is made of actually.

If you have a goal of losing weight, maybe even a lot of weight, is it all going to disappear at once? No. You will lose it pound by pound, week by week. The same goes for any large goal. Writing a book, page by page. Renovating a house, room by room. Building a relationship, date by date.

A big mountain may seem stuck in one place, but you could actually move it if you started piece by piece, pebble by pebble.

“The Law of Belief states that whatever you believe with emotion becomes your reality.”
— Brian Tracy

Your beliefs control your realities. You can see that a person acts in a manner consistent with their inner beliefs and convictions. You can understand what you or anyone else believes by looking at what they do. It is not what a person says, or hopes, or writes, or wishes that is a clear indication of his beliefs; it is only their actions.

There are things you can do immediately to use this law for your benefit. Create in yourself the beliefs you most desire — the beliefs that serve you the best. Meaning, if you want to be healthy — act healthy, talk about how healthy you are, think how wonderful it is to be healthy, and most importantly FEEL the feelings of being healthy.

Your behavior will build your belief system and will become your reality. This works with anything and everything you most desire — relationships, money, careers. You name it, believe it, act on it, and FEEL it.

“Change is inevitable, growth is intentional.”
—Glenda Cloud

When things fall apart, it can be seen as a test and also can be seen as a form of healing. But it is not always a test that you either pass or fail. Sometimes it is just observing how things can come together and how they also can fall apart. The healing happens when you release control of the situation and allow for these things to happen as they need to. You also allow for the necessary emotions to come and most importantly go as they need to; be it grief, joy, love, anger, whatever.

The reality is we may not truly ever know how situations are going go. Something we believe will bring us great joy may bring us great sorrow. Something we feel will bring only grief and misery may actually bring joy and pleasure. Sometimes we think we’re at the end of it all but it turns out we are at the beginning of something else.

The reality is that change is inevitable and life teaches us that things are always in transition. When things seemingly fall apart, other things are being built up. Experience each situation that life gives you to its fullest and then keep on moving to the next moment in the now and intentionally grow into you.

“Know what you want to do, hold the thought firmly, and do every day what should be done, and every sunset will see you that much nearer to your goal.”
— Elbert Hubbard

It may seem like a simple question, “What do you want?”, but have you really sat down and figured out exactly what you want for your life? Sometimes when this question is asked, I hear a lot of what people don’t want: “I don’t want to be in debt, I don’t want to have a cheating spouse, I don’t want an apartment with cockroaches, I don’t want a lousy job, I don’t want to be fat, I don’t want to be shy”, etc.

But that doesn’t tell me what you want! If you don’t know what you want, how are you supposed to know how to get it? You want to be wealthy, you want a faithful spouse, you want a clean apartment, you want a good job, you want to be in shape, you want to be outgoing, etc.

Take a moment and really figure this one out. Go all out and make it your big dream. Make sure you are writing out what you want and not the don’t wants. Then if you want to have some creative fun, do a vision board. Simply find pictures to cut and paste onto a board that give you a visual picture of exactly what you want in your life. I found it really clarifies my quest and gives me something to focus on when I wonder “What am I doing all this for?”

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure… We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are you not to be?”
— Marianne Williamson

Ah, that oh so familiar voice of low self-esteem. I am happy it no longer lives with me full-time. But it is funny how I still can hear its echo calling from whatever cave I threw it in years ago — “Who are you to be amazing?” it shouts out hoping to be heard.

It holds me back for a moment or two. That slight hesitation when someone asks me to present something to their group because they value what I have to say. Or the slight disbelief when someone offers me a compliment. But then, I come back to who I am and I say “Thank you” because I realize I am amazing.

When you hear me say that about myself, is there a voice in you saying — “Who does she think she is?” Realize that is your own voice of low self-esteem that is projecting your self-doubts onto me. It doesn’t want you to realize that you too are amazing and powerful because you might lock that little voice away one day for good as well.

“You have to make darn sure not to put yourself in the proximity of complainers. If you absolutely have to be nearby, make sure you bring a steel umbrella or the crap meant for them will get you too!”
— Harv Eker, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind

You know the saying, misery likes company? And by now, we understand that what we focus on expands. So if we are around people who complain a lot, then what they are attracting into their lives may spread to yours if you let it affect you.

There was a person in my life like that, and each time we spoke, I came away feeling really drained and found myself getting really aggravated by the littlest things she would say. I couldn’t figure it out at first, but then I realized she was always complaining to me about how miserable her life is, and how horrible her childhood was. I would do my best to give her some empowering guidance or simply a sympathetic ear. But the story never changed. Instead of me helping her feel better, her negative energy was far stronger (and more rehearsed) so it ended up bringing my energy closer to her lower level.

Even though it is our intention to help, sometimes it is better for everyone to simply stay away from miserable people — at least the ones who have no intention (subconsciously perhaps) of ever changing for the better. This can be tricky to do if you are in a profession that is out to help people in this state. And I am not suggesting that we abandon the souls in need. However, make sure you have your energy shields up to protect you from these misfortune magnets.