“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.”
— Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

Feeling overwhelmed by deadlines, goals, ambitions, expectations? Sometimes the actual feat seems so much bigger when you look at it as a whole. Take a few deep breaths and see what the task on hand is made of actually.

If you have a goal of losing weight, maybe even a lot of weight, is it all going to disappear at once? No. You will lose it pound by pound, week by week. The same goes for any large goal. Writing a book, page by page. Renovating a house, room by room. Building a relationship, date by date.

A big mountain may seem stuck in one place, but you could actually move it if you started piece by piece, pebble by pebble.

“The Law of Belief states that whatever you believe with emotion becomes your reality.”
— Brian Tracy

Your beliefs control your realities. You can see that a person acts in a manner consistent with their inner beliefs and convictions. You can understand what you or anyone else believes by looking at what they do. It is not what a person says, or hopes, or writes, or wishes that is a clear indication of his beliefs; it is only their actions.

There are things you can do immediately to use this law for your benefit. Create in yourself the beliefs you most desire — the beliefs that serve you the best. Meaning, if you want to be healthy — act healthy, talk about how healthy you are, think how wonderful it is to be healthy, and most importantly FEEL the feelings of being healthy.

Your behavior will build your belief system and will become your reality. This works with anything and everything you most desire — relationships, money, careers. You name it, believe it, act on it, and FEEL it.

“Change is inevitable, growth is intentional.”
—Glenda Cloud

When things fall apart, it can be seen as a test and also can be seen as a form of healing. But it is not always a test that you either pass or fail. Sometimes it is just observing how things can come together and how they also can fall apart. The healing happens when you release control of the situation and allow for these things to happen as they need to. You also allow for the necessary emotions to come and most importantly go as they need to; be it grief, joy, love, anger, whatever.

The reality is we may not truly ever know how situations are going go. Something we believe will bring us great joy may bring us great sorrow. Something we feel will bring only grief and misery may actually bring joy and pleasure. Sometimes we think we’re at the end of it all but it turns out we are at the beginning of something else.

The reality is that change is inevitable and life teaches us that things are always in transition. When things seemingly fall apart, other things are being built up. Experience each situation that life gives you to its fullest and then keep on moving to the next moment in the now and intentionally grow into you.

“Know what you want to do, hold the thought firmly, and do every day what should be done, and every sunset will see you that much nearer to your goal.”
— Elbert Hubbard

It may seem like a simple question, “What do you want?”, but have you really sat down and figured out exactly what you want for your life? Sometimes when this question is asked, I hear a lot of what people don’t want: “I don’t want to be in debt, I don’t want to have a cheating spouse, I don’t want an apartment with cockroaches, I don’t want a lousy job, I don’t want to be fat, I don’t want to be shy”, etc.

But that doesn’t tell me what you want! If you don’t know what you want, how are you supposed to know how to get it? You want to be wealthy, you want a faithful spouse, you want a clean apartment, you want a good job, you want to be in shape, you want to be outgoing, etc.

Take a moment and really figure this one out. Go all out and make it your big dream. Make sure you are writing out what you want and not the don’t wants. Then if you want to have some creative fun, do a vision board. Simply find pictures to cut and paste onto a board that give you a visual picture of exactly what you want in your life. I found it really clarifies my quest and gives me something to focus on when I wonder “What am I doing all this for?”

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure… We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are you not to be?”
— Marianne Williamson

Ah, that oh so familiar voice of low self-esteem. I am happy it no longer lives with me full-time. But it is funny how I still can hear its echo calling from whatever cave I threw it in years ago — “Who are you to be amazing?” it shouts out hoping to be heard.

It holds me back for a moment or two. That slight hesitation when someone asks me to present something to their group because they value what I have to say. Or the slight disbelief when someone offers me a compliment. But then, I come back to who I am and I say “Thank you” because I realize I am amazing.

When you hear me say that about myself, is there a voice in you saying — “Who does she think she is?” Realize that is your own voice of low self-esteem that is projecting your self-doubts onto me. It doesn’t want you to realize that you too are amazing and powerful because you might lock that little voice away one day for good as well.

“You have to make darn sure not to put yourself in the proximity of complainers. If you absolutely have to be nearby, make sure you bring a steel umbrella or the crap meant for them will get you too!”
— Harv Eker, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind

You know the saying, misery likes company? And by now, we understand that what we focus on expands. So if we are around people who complain a lot, then what they are attracting into their lives may spread to yours if you let it affect you.

There was a person in my life like that, and each time we spoke, I came away feeling really drained and found myself getting really aggravated by the littlest things she would say. I couldn’t figure it out at first, but then I realized she was always complaining to me about how miserable her life is, and how horrible her childhood was. I would do my best to give her some empowering guidance or simply a sympathetic ear. But the story never changed. Instead of me helping her feel better, her negative energy was far stronger (and more rehearsed) so it ended up bringing my energy closer to her lower level.

Even though it is our intention to help, sometimes it is better for everyone to simply stay away from miserable people — at least the ones who have no intention (subconsciously perhaps) of ever changing for the better. This can be tricky to do if you are in a profession that is out to help people in this state. And I am not suggesting that we abandon the souls in need. However, make sure you have your energy shields up to protect you from these misfortune magnets.

“You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.”
— Tony Robbins

For many years this was the way it was for me. I would read all these fantastic books on spirituality, health, wellness, etc. The academic in me would take it all in and I could happily report that I had read all these authors with their important messages of personal growth.

So why was my life such a mess? I knew it all, right?

Well, first off, I don’t believe we will ever truly know it all. There is so much to know out there. And it is constantly evolving. And secondly, I didn’t actually know this stuff since I wasn’t actually living it.

Get off the knowledge junkie path and start taking action with all the knowledge you have built up in your life. I do believe we have the knowledge inside each and everyone of us for living to our highest potential if we would just do what we already know.

“Think about what you want, not what you don’t want. Guard your thoughts carefully, because they create your experiences.”
— Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.

When you are sitting there innocently and a thought pops into your head, do you think the thought chose you or did you choose it? Even if it doesn’t seem so, our thoughts never choose us. We always choose our thoughts every moment of the day. And there are no neutral thoughts because each thought triggers an emotion. Thoughts are energy and emotions are energy in motion and they will have an effect on your world one way or another.

With practice you can learn to monitor and choose not to hold a thought that begins to form. Before long you will be able to focus your mind at will on only loving thoughts that will create the world around you just as you wish.

In The Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer, Gregg Braden was invited by a Native American friend to meet him in a place where they had gone to pray rain for as long as anyone could remember. He was not prepared for what he was about to see as he was expecting dancing or chanting at the very least. The gentleman removed his shoes, stepped into a stone circle, turned his back to Gregg, honored his ancestors and the elements. He held his hands in a prayer position and about 20 seconds later said he said he was hungry.

“I thought you were going to pray for rain?” And he said, “No. If I prayed FOR rain, rain could never happen because the moment we ask for something to occur, we have just acknowledged and empowered the fact that it is not there.” So what did he do? He said he felt the feeling of what it feels like when they have the rain in his village. He smelled the smells of the rain. He felt the feeling of the mud on his naked feet.

Focus on the rain, not the lack of it.

“Love the ones you can. Touch the ones you can reach. Let the others go.”
— Real Live Preacher

When we touch, whether it is a gentle pat, hug, or intense massage, there are many benefits that we experience. Touching can make your immune system stronger and your mood lighter. The more touches you give or receive the better you feel. Touching is an easy way to add comfort to your life.

Women in particular need to be touched even more than men because our skin is more sensitive and we experience higher levels of stress and lower levels of chemicals that combat stress.

Show the universe what a wonderful giver and receiver you are and reach out and touch someone and accept their touch in return. Your life will be happier, healthier, and you will be making someone else’s life that much better too.

“For every person who wants to teach there are approximately thirty people who don’t want to learn — much.”
— W.C. Sellar and R.J. Yeatman, And Now All This (1932) introduction

How many of you want to grow? And what is growing? Is staying the same a part of growing? Or does the actual word “growing” imply change? The thing is, you are only going to grow if you are uncomfortable — by stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things that are different from what you are doing right now.

So what is holding you back from growing? The number one phrase that will keep you exactly the way you are is, “I know that”. But do you really “know” it? Or have you heard about it, talked about it, read about it. You only really “know” it if you are living it.

I repeat, you only know it if you are living it.

So take a look. Are you living what you say you know? Be open to learning. At at the same time, be open to UN-learning all that doesn’t serve you in your quest to grow.