“If something can be changed, work to change it. If it cannot, why
worry, be upset, or complain?” — Shantideva, Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life

I used to walk my kids to school almost everyday. And on the way back home I would usually find one of the other mom’s to chat with about the day to day stuff of moms, and our community, etc. When I got back today, I realized almost our entire conversation revolved around all the things we didn’t like, the things that were going wrong, the things that bugged us. It actually felt funny to say as we parted, “Have a nice day!” since we just had so much negativity in the air a few seconds before.

It was an eye opener for me. How easy it is to allow yourself to think and talk negatively, even in simple day to day social situations. And when we remember that we attract more of what we focus on, it really brings the reality of our harmless idle chit-chat home. And what was important for me to realize is that even though I feel that I am a positive person most of the time, it is easy to slide into the less positive words of others in social situations.

So, let’s remember this wise advice when the urge arises to complain: If something can be changed, let’s work to change it. And if you need to discuss less than happy or good situations, find ways to do it that focus on the positive changes that can be made, not just the complaints for the sake of complaining.