“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.”
— Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

When you say what you fear out loud, you will often find how ridiculous, or inaccurate, or inappropriate it is for your life. I had a talk a while back with my husband about one of the fears holding me back from making some simple phone calls. I had to call some people that I didn’t know in order to set up an interview time with them. In my mind I knew that this was no big deal for me to do. I have definitely done more challenging tasks or assignments. So what was holding me back? Why was I so afraid to just make these calls? I had been procrastinating for over two weeks now, coming up with excuse after excuse as to why I should put it off until the next day.

Well, with a little self-probing I realized that it wasn’t making the phone calls that was posing the problem, but making the phone calls with my husband within earshot. I was fearing his judgment or criticism of me and my ability to call up strangers to book an interview. No wait, take it a step further, I was afraid he would think that I am not as competent as I always lead him to believe. I wanted to make the calls when he wasn’t around, so that if I said something “stupid”, he wouldn’t know about it and couldn’t criticize me. So really, I was fearing being criticized by someone who I really respect and value their opinion. (more…)